Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Ralf's LiveJournal:

Friday, February 4th, 2005
9:44 pm	Washington Of The North Or Westminister In the Wilderness Going to Ottawa tomorrow for four days, catching the Winterlude festival which is North America's largest winter carnival. Its an eight hour bus ride on the grey hound, write to you soon! (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
11:40 am	Sudbury To The Soo…… This weekend I went to Sudbury and Sault Ste. Marie, both are about a seven-hour car journey away from Toronto. Once past the metropolis of Toronto the landscape changes very quickly, to that of big rock and cliffs and pine tress. In the snow it looks barren and very wild, and this is reinforced by the bear and moose warning signs – the latter being as fierce as a bear. I saw one on the road, and they are huge, it was licking the salt off the road, which they do in the winter. Fortunately there were no bears as they are in hibernation. Anyway we stopped at roadside diner and got something to eat, as usual the portion sizes are immense. Then we carried on towards Sudbury. Sudbury is notable for several things. (1) It one point in the mid 90’s it was responsible for mining three quarters of the worlds nickel (2) It has the largest smoke stack in the world (3) It has a huge nickel coin near two of the main attractions – science north and dynamic earth. Although the population is about 150,000 it feels much bigger probably because it occupies such a huge area. Anyway I stayed at a friends house, who lived near Sudbury. The house was possibly the most unusual I have ever seen – a completely circular house in a forest. If you can imagine either a squashed lighthouse or a crashed UFO you have hit the nail on the head. In the morning we drove in Sudbury proper, however at –40 degrees its not the sort of weather where you want to go and casually walk about. Anyway Dynamic Earth was closed but I got a picture of the nickel, doing the usual stupid tourist poses. Dynamic earth is basically an old mine, in which you can go down in the cage and see the veins of the abundant minerals, which have supported this part of the Ontario’s economy. Then we went to Science North, which has an IMAX theatre and various other attractions, including a huge butterfly room, with no less than two hundred species. As well as this there is a body section, space and geology section. In fact it has basically every ‘ology’ in you can imagine. After that we went back to the house and I learnt how real Canadians live. I spent a freezing two hours chopping wood in the forest. I used a chainsaw and an axe and had so much fun! It felt manly and butch, surprised? I was. Then after tea we went to ‘The Soo’ as it is affectionately known. There is not much their, its kind of like Sudbury but with Timber and the only thing really too see is the great lakes and the timber boats coming down the river. Anyway after a walk around and a coffee it was time to head home. Arrived home at three in the morning after stopping at McDonalds for breakfast. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 15th, 2005
10:28 pm	The Devil Is Throwing Pretty Boys Out Windows, Went again to Toronto last weekend, to the Royal Ontario Museum, affectionately called the ROM, in Canada. There was a spectacular display of pearls on, there history, uses and their production, it was very interesting. The ROM also has a great Greek/Roman/Etruscan section, which brought back memories of university. Well brought back is not quite true, I had to stand in front of each exhibit and drag the name of familiar people or places. It also has the largest Chinese history section in the world (outside of china) this also is quite spectacular, as well as great European history sections, and a good dinosaur section. Its quite easy to believe that there are six million objects for you to look at. It is also undergoing a massive $60 million transformation, the new section being designed by Denial Liebscindt which is too be completed in one years time.It snowed in Toronto and the city looked even more spectacular, it had that big city feel, what with all the steam billowing out of the side walks and a top the tall sky scrappers. I have bought a bus ticket to Ottawa, its an eight hour bus journey which sucks but its damm reasonable at $90.00 return! I am staying there for three days the 7 – 11 of Feb, can’t wait. Also thinking of going to Halifax Nova Scotia in March, as plane fares are particularly cheap. This next weekend I am going to Sudbury and Sault St Marie, in northern Ontario – the Canadian hinterland. Other News: I have lustful intentions towards an employee at Radio Shack, nothing is known about him, except he is as hot as a thousand suns…..is he a fag? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 3rd, 2005
10:54 pm	It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin Or Else It Gets The Hose Again! Dear One and All, I am going to update this with my Christmas and New Year activities soon. However here is my postal address for Canada, please feel free to send letters, cards, money, porn, small animals, people with filing cabinets on their heads (oh how ruthlessly absurd!) 54 Borland Drive, Guelph, Ontario, N1G 5B4 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 19th, 2004
10:33 pm	I Can See Your House From Here...... Christmas Cheer to you all! I am enjoying my first ever-white Christmas this year. Its been snowing now on and off for the past few days and currently its –21! I went to Toronto yesterday to go up the CN Tower and the Royal Ontario Museum. Both are spectacular in different ways. The CN Tower ‘Canada’s wonder of the world’ really is that although I am not sure of the point of it commercially. The weather was perfect for viewing the city, and the observation deck is so high it rises above some clouds. There you have 360-degree views of the GTA including other landmarks buildings such as the TD Towers, The Scotia Bank Tower, Bank of Montreal Complex and the Sky Dome. Its quite amazing! Then I went to The Royal Ontario Gallery, also stunning. It has a fine collection of paintings including Monet, Gauguin, Degas, Renoir, Picasso and Modigliani. I went mainly to find out more about the Group of Seven, who were a group of Canadian artists who were radically, changed art in N-America. Their work is striking and helps the tourist understand how Canadians see their country. Also the AGO has the largest collection of Henry Moore Statues in the world, someone who I knew precious little about. Then I watched the skaters in the central square of Toronto and then went shopping at the Eaton centre were I bought a 6ft 3D jigsaw puzzle of the CN Tower, what I day! I know I don’t update this that often but I really appreciate you visiting it, and like your comments. Hope you got your Christmas cards; a Christmas message will appear shortly. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 14th, 2004
8:26 pm	A Day In Toronto: Union Station To City Hall Woke up early today to catch the 9:05 Train to Toronto, good ride only taking fifty-five minutes to get to the central station. From there I opened my National Geographic and began to walk. The walk goes past some of Toronto’s most famous landmarks. The first two are the Central Station and the Royal Union Station, both of which recall the great days of tourism. Then it’s into the commercial quarter passing the Royal Bank of Canada centre, two giant skyscrapers. Walking down Bay Street I went to the Hockey Hall of Fame, not bad even if you don’t like the game but the men who play it. Housed in an old Bank of Montreal, it is pleasant building overlooking the St Lawrence Art Centre and Flatiron building. Then it was up King Street East to St James’ Cathedral and past the Canadian commerce building heading toward the bank of commerce. The skyline is then dominated by the Toronto Dominion-Canada Trust Towers, a series of giant monoliths demonstrating Toronto place in the financial world, then it was up to the old city hall the famous Eaton Shopping Centre, boasting over 400 shops in a multilevel complex. Although this probably doesn’t mean much its an amazing walk. After that I went down to the Air Canada centre, and then to the lakefront and had a walk by the shore of lake Ontario. All in all a thoroughly enjoyable day, great weather and plenty of sightseeing. Next week I am working an insane sixty six hours in the mall, so its good to do something fun, going to go back on the 6th December to do arty stuff. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 7th, 2004
7:51 pm	The Invasion Of Long Haired, Bagel Loving, Commie, Hippies. Well the election is over, votes counted and George Bush is back. Oh well, its only four years, and I am sure they will go quickly. On a more important note, lets talk about me in detail and what I have been up too in Canada, in about a week you will be able to view photos of places I have been, as I have found a website to upload them, so as the saying goes watch this space! Anyway there is very little news here, I have been working very hard at Laura Secords and Second Cup, both shops are getting ready for Christmas, and the mall has already got its Christmas decorations up, so it feels like the holidays, and no doubt by December proper I will be fairly pissed. However there is a plus, it is now possible to buy Egg Nogg in the Supermarkets, I can’t wait to try it! Its expected that we will get the first snow fall by the end of the week, a wet snow, what the locals call the ‘slush ice’ Next Sunday I am actually doing something – actually going to Toronto see have a stroll around the ‘Metro’ can’t wait! Money is not such a problem thanks too working the two jobs, meaning I get a pay check every week. Went to a keg party last night, downtown; for $10.00 it was all that you could drink, it was quite good fun. However it was at a frat house, with a stupid name in Greek, however it was not like the films ware students live in palaces; it was just a large house, with a stupid name. Student life is quite different in Canada, less drinking and more buying clothes and trying to look nice, god forbid if you are ugly. However if you are good looking and have an accent, you fit in, and something of a novelty. Towards the end of the night I was frequently asked if I knew Paul McCartney, or if I had been to Abby Road, even if I said no someone would respond with “Dude, the Beatles are cool, Abby Road so cool, did you enjoy it?” Actually, it wasn’t a question because everyone was so drunk forming a question was out of everyone’s ability. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
8:22 am	Just A Simple Evangelist From Yorkshire An Open Letter To All Things Heavenily; Please don't let George Bush Win, Amen (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 24th, 2004
8:47 pm	Will, go with the robot into the uncharted wilderness and take this mincing boy hungry paedophile Quick come on into the car! I tell you about it - An uneventful week this week, as I have been working all week at the chocolate shop. The most exciting part was when I got another job at a coffee bar in the mall, and signing up for online banking. Weather is turning decidedly crappy, damp, wet and cold. Also been downloading family guy off the web and have been watching it non-stop. Going to see ‘The Motor Cycle Diaries’ next week at the cinema. Also bought a train ticket to Toronto, for November 5th to do a tour of the city interesting buildings starting at the Union Station it goes to all the famous landmarks. The ticket cost $40.00 which an't so bad so it means I don't have to use the Grey Hound bus, the only people who theme apart from the Norwegian’s are nuns, recently released prisoners and the actively schizoid. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 18th, 2004
8:07 pm	A Preserved Man In Canada. In the beginning………. In the beginning Ralf went to Canada, and stayed with some of his parents friends who had the Internet but it was quite difficult to get to it so Ralf’s online journal suffered. However then Ralf moved out, and is now living with some students who have broadband, allowing Ralf to update every tedious aspect of his new life in Canada. Enough of the third person. I do apologise for not updating me journal. I have’t felt so apologetic since I went to a friends funeral, his parents said “thankyou so much for coming” and I said “its my pleasure”I am flattered that you are interested in finding out what I am doing. Since my last entry I have got a job in the local mall of Guelph at a chocolate shop called Laura Seacord (Canada’s premiere chocolate shop since 1902) However in 2000 it went bust when the stock market took a plunge and was bought by an investment group, I am not sure if that still makes it premiere? Anywho its good work, I know how chocolate is made, and more especially truffles as that is what the shop specialises in. Did you know it takes three days to make a truffle? A different day for each layer of it. Its good work, and good fun and everyone loves my accent, bizarrely mistaking it for Australian. Everyone is keen to ask were I am from and when I say it, they are keen to know if I am friends with “my cousin earl and his wife Bobby Joe, who moved there after the war” “were are they” I would ask “I don’t know we had a big falling out forty five years ago” Anyway it’s usually like that. Most Canadians believe that England is still a land of fog and Dickens and men with good manners strolling around London. Or as one Chinese lady put “I have some impression of the English, that they are very preserved” I have done a bit more travelling, only to Kitchener to go the October Fest, which is second only too the one in Munich. It’s a week long festival in which the inhabitants of this small town get drunk for a week and embrace their German heritage (minus the events of 1939 – 1945) I went during thanksgiving Monday to see the parade which was presided over by Paul Martin (prime minister of Canada) I had my first ever thanksgiving weekend, and its good! Pumpkin pie is so nice, believe it or not. There is so many spices in it, I couldn’t tell you what pumpkin tastes off. Also had the turkey, yams, stuffing, vegetables and it was washed down with Canadian wine, which is surprisingly nice. Thanksgiving in Canada is a few weeks before the one in the states, and is not as big, I guess everyone is not as thankful. As I stated, I have moved too a new house, with three other students who attend the university. It’s the normal student house, huge basement, large kitchen, two reception rooms, un-suit accommodation, air conditioning and electric garage. It’s a hard life. Rent is $340.00, which is about £130.00 a month. The only disadvantage is that it’s a way out of Guelph so it’s a fifteen-minute bus ride to the mall and the city centre. It’s getting used to the size of Canada, which is difficult. Guelph has a population of 97,000 but the size of the buildings and roads means it’s far bigger than anything of comparable size in England. It would probably take about a day to walk from one side to the other. The night life is good, although Canadian beer tastes like piss and water, a heady mix (I suppose the only people who like it are those of use who like water sports, especially in showers or aquatic settings) You can get in huge glasses, a two pint glass cost $4.50. You also can’t smoke in public places, so it means that when you come home you don’t smell like you have been to a 3rd degree burn ward. Anyway having a good time so far and I am planning a trip to Toronto in the next few days, and then Ottawa were I am hoping to get tickets to watch a session in parliament. The weather is starting to turn, it should drop to about –25 by January. Its hovering around 10 degrees, but with a freezing wind which means your testicles gradually end up around your ears, possibly explaining why most people who live in colder countries have hair out of there ears. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 17th, 2004
3:26 pm	yeah, about as gay as someone who likes being buggered by other men! Dear all, Sorry I have not been updating, its been difficult but by tomorrow or tuesday there will be an entry as I have moved and have access to broadband. sorry (Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2004
11:43 am	Would Witness Have Worked With Mennonites, Instead Of The Amish? Sunday 26th September’ 2004 Sunday’s in the house that I am staying in has a definite traditional feel about it, since Barb and Les spend it doing what the good lord no doubt would want us all to do, spending it at church. Declining their kind invitation, I decided to spend the day exploring some of the towns around Guelph. I therefore collected various maps and tour kinds that I had collected and headed the car rental agency. Renting a car in Canada is one of the easiest things in the world. It all boils down to how much money you have, it typically costs $20.00 a day. I opted for a Chrysler Neon, which happened to be the cheapest. My first port of call was the town of St. Jacobs; this town interested me for one reason, because of its connection with the Mennonites. The Mennonites are much like the Amish of Pennsylvania, the dress and their rejection of modern technology, however it goes much deeper than that. They are part of the Anabaptist-Mennonite movement. They believed that the Christian Church should be made up of people who freely choose to become members of a voluntary church of believers. They are named after the early Dutch leader, Menno Simons. I visited the museum and watched a film about them and was surprised to learn that the U.K. has 112 members of the church. The museum was small, but jam packed with loads of interesting stuff, I was kind of hoping that there would be a gift shop so I could buy the distinctive hat that the men ware. There was not much more to see in the town, except a load of fat tourists staring at the Mennonites, holding ridiculously large subway sandwiches. If any of you have seen the classic Harrison Ford film Witness you will know what I am talking about. Heading down route 86 I had a quick stop over in Elora, a delightful town, with heavy Mennonite influences. I had lunch at a Tim Hortons (a Canadian company which specializes in donuts and other pastries) Then I moved on to Fergus, which was originally settled by the Scott’s. It is famous in the Southern Toronto area because of a waterfall and mill. After abandoning the town the town, in an attempt to walk of the donuts I parked the car, and took a walk down by the waterfall, eventually ending up in the river because of the heat, it reached 27 degrees! Then I headed back to the car, and back to Guelph ware I enjoyed some bread, ham and cheese of varying sorts, and after that a bit of blueberry pie for pudding. Tomorrow I have three job interviews at the stone walk mall, One at Star Bucks, The Second Cup and a chocolate shop. Fingers crossed (9 Comments |Comment on this)